Funny Matatu Quotes on Kenyan Roads or behind Lorries

If you have been on Kenyan roads, these funny matatu quotes or in some cases, wise sayings, are not new to you. You will find them inside public service vehicles such as matatus or buses as stickers strategically placed.

Then there are those written at the back of lorries and trailers. These are often written on the bottom rail at the back of the body or on the ‘mud guard’.

While some matatu quotes are funny to cheer up up road users, others are wise sayings guiding Kenyans in different aspects of life.

As Payuka, we went out of our way to look for these wise saying and compile them below.

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Quotes on Kenyan Roads

Shimo la panya halizibwi na mkate

Mimba mwatoa ukimwi je??

Hata huwe na gari mingi aje kwa choo lazima utatembea

Mla Chungu na Tamu Hakosi

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Punda hakukanyaga Shule hata kidogo lakini hajai kosa kazi

CONDOM NI MPIRA LAKINI MECHI ZAKE HAZIONYESHWI LIVE

Chunga mwenzako ni mwizi Kama wewe.

hata nikipimwa hakuna dawa

Utamu wa uji n kutigiza kikombe

Kaa wanadai mapembe waongezee mkia

Akili mjini nguvu kijijini

Usijifanye mrembo hata mbuzi ako na sura

If you think am slow why are you behind me

Unauliza iko kiti kwani weingine wamekalia mtungi

Tulia! Ungekuwa na hii haraka hungetumia barabara ungetumulia ndege

Chinja bata kuku askie wivu

Kila kijiti na utamu wake

MOMBASA NI KARIBU KONA NDIO NYINGI

Simba Ni Mkali, Lakini Bado Hutiwa Mimba

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Ukipenda mwanafunzi nunulia bibi yako uniform

Firisika ujue tabia za Bibi yako

Kulipa ni lazma ,change ni ukikumbuka

Usiogope ukubwawa samaki uliza bei

Ukipenda chips usiongope mimba

Jino moja mswaki wa nini?

Utamu wa ndoa ni kelele za mke

Ukishindwa kuwinda subiri mzoga.

hakuna mkate ngumu mbele ya chai

Dada, salamu haitii mimba

Cheza na pesa lakini usicheze na kazi

Ukikosa tumaini kula tumatubo

utamu wa ugali hulingana na aina ya mboga

Uzito wa meli hautishi bahari

Ukinifuata utakunywa vumbi

Mimba na kitambi ni jukumu la wanaume

Aliye kuambia naye aliambiwa

Kupanda ni popote kushuka ni stage

Kanzu mpya,sheikh yule yule

Mtoto mzuri hula kwa jirani

Wivu ni aibu

Dont cry just try

Nyumba ndogo raha

Do not drink and drive smoke weed and fly

Ukiona hatupatani jua hatuelewani

Kama kuku ni ndege,basi samaki ni meli

Usidharau madafu, maembe ni ya msimu

Mshikwa na ngozi ndiye mla mbuzi

Nzi akiacha ujinga anaeza tengeneza asali

Feel free to add more in the comments section below.

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